Boredom With a Captial B
by Rauxlen
Summary: Axel, Roxas, and Demyx, in their quest for amusement, have turned Zexion into a child. Now with twice the random! Let chaos reign!Chapter 9: Doorknobs, Hair Dye, and Explosions
1. Let the Chaos Begin!

Here's my first fanfiction. No flames please. And for all of you to know, I'm one of the best writers in class. Mrs. Frazer should read some of these.

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"So now what?" Asked Roxas as he put away a puzzle into a box that said "The ever changing puzzle. This thing will never be the same thing twice." Vexen had made them it, so that they'd leave him alone.

"Well we could go torch Mar's garden again." Suggested Axel. "Oh, no, wait I already did that today… damn, you'd think he'd get bored with regrowing flowers. What the hell's the point with a garden anyways beside to burn it down?"

Roxas went to reply when a loud _BAM i_nterrupted him. Followed by someone yelling in a very high pitched tone.

"The hell was that?"

"My guess is that it was Demyx again."

Axel grinned. "Shall we laugh at the poor bastard whom he decided to harass now?"

"Hell yeah!"

With that, the two mischief makers ran off in the direction in which the explosion came with grins on their faces.

"Demyx you little son of a bitch!" Vexen yelled as he chased the childish musician. "How many times do I have to tell you now to touch anything in my lab!"

Demyx laughed, knowing Vexen would never be able to catch him. He turned to see that Vexen was slowing down to catch his breath and stopped to yell "A hell of a lot more times than you already do!" before running off again. He ran laughing around a corner and crashed right into Axel. The impact sent both of them to the ground. Demyx rubbed his head and turned to look at Axel, who was rubbing the spot on his forehead where Demyx has smacked head with him. "Uh, Axel, pal, you're not going to hand me over to Vexen are you."

Axel, who loved to see Demyx scared for his life thought for a minute. On one hand, Vexen could get pissed for not getting his revenge on Demyx, which he always wanted to see, because he _hated_ Vexen with a burning passion. No pun intended. On the other hand, he could get revenge on Demyx for keeping him up all night by singing that fucked up version of "under the sea"… if there was anything Axel hated more than the sea and it's icky inhabitants, it as when those icky, slimy, stingy inhabitants sang songs and played weird instruments made of shells and seaweed… _HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT ANYWAYS!_... Moving on. "Nah."

"We're here to laugh at Vexen. You managed to get in his room again and this is our way to show our 'support'…yeah… support." Roxas explained.

Demyx cringed. "Guys we're forgetting about someone."

"Who?" they both asked.

"AXEL! ROXAS! I knew you two were in on this! Take that! ICE SPIKES!" Vexen sent a homing row of icy spikes shooting at them.

"Oh." Roxas began

"Shit." Added Demyx

RUN!" And finished Axel. With that, they hauled ass. If Vexen wasn't fast, his attacks would be. Very unfortunate that he chose the homing, sharp, stabbity death to attack them with. As soon as they reached the library, they slammed the door shut, and moved one of the shelves in front of the door.

"Oh… my freaking… god." Demyx said between breaths. "That was TOO close."

"We oughta… get back at him, right Axel?"

"Damn… straight…" Axel replied. Then he noticed a book on the table. The title was too faded to read but the bottom of the book said "Marquis de Sade". In other words, one of Larxene's books. Oh the fun he'd have with this. So much fun indeed. And hit two birds with one stone. "Hey guys, Check this out."

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YAY! Cliffhanger! I'll continue this probably. Well i'm going to go crawl into bed now. Later.


	2. Two birds with one book?

Here's chapter two.I gots two reviews. Whee. If you read my fanfictions, PLEASE leave a damn review.

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Chapter two: Two birds with one… book?

"Whoa. Dude, that's Larxene's book. She'll kill you if she sees you with it." Said Roxas.

"I know." Axel grinned "Hey Demyx?"

Demyx was sitting on a chair playing with the hair that hung down in his face. He quickly brought his attention to the one who called his name. "Yus?"

"How well can you imitate Vexen's handwriting?"

"Well… not that good but he leaves his books in here with the notes in them right?" Demyx asked, pointing to the cerulean bookcase. "We could use his notes to copy his writing, right?"

"No,_ you_ can do that while we keep watch for Larxene or the queer."

"The… _queer_?" asked Roxas.

"Hey, you know as well as I that he's got to be gay or something. Marluxia doesn't even annoy me as much as having to be _around_ Vexen does."

"'Kay then." Grinned Demyx. He went and got one of Vexen's books. When he came back he had to ask another question. "So what are we doing?"

Axel grinned and picked up a pencil. "We're going to write in the pages of Lar's book, chuck it at Vexen, hopefully bean him off the top of the head, poof back here before he knows what ht him, and when he gives the book back to Larxene, she'll beat the crap out of him when she finds his handwriting in her book!"

"Stabbity death?" asked Demyx, implying that if Vexen was going to get kunai thrown at him and possibly killed.

"**Very** much so. I'm getting sick and tired of the way he complains that no one respects him anyways. The guy's a freaking nag. So enough with the chatter and more making with the forgery." Axel pushed the book under Demyx's nose. "And make it look like he used her book as scrap paper or something.

"I still don't see how Larxene will fall for this." Said Roxas, still eyeing the door.

"If there's one thing I know about women it's that rage blinds them in the common sense factor and you don't want to be around them when that happens."

"…" Roxas shook his head.

"…" Demyx rolled his eyes

"What!"

"Just watch the door, Axel…" sighed Roxas. Demyx laughed for a second then went back to plagiarizing Vexen's handwriting.

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Marluxia walked down the hallway, intent on escaping from anything that made noise, he'd put up with listening to Demyx's music long enough. And since he wasn't in the room and listening to it, Marluxia had decided to smash it instead of turning it off. As he entered his room he noticed something different. There was an overwhelming smell of something burned and the faint waft of flowers. Then it hit him. "If Axel…" was all he said before running to his garden."SON OF A BITCH!" Before he could finish yelling about how much he despised Axel, he was interrupted by a loud pounding at the door. He muttered colorful language before opening the door. "What?" he snapped.

"1) Could you yell any louder?" Larxene started holding up one finger as to symbolize which point she was on. She repeated his with her other statements. "2) Why do I smell burned flowers? And 3) Have you seen my book?"

Marluxia decided to not answer the first two. "No I haven't seen your God forsaken book. Will you please leave me alone? I'm trying to think of a way to kill Axel." Larxene's smirk suddenly twisted into a scowl.

"Of course!" She yelled, running to find Axel and Roxas.

"Wow." Chuckled Marluxia. "I never thought that would actually work." Remembering the reason why he had asked her to leave her to leave, his rage returned and he shut the door to rebuild his garden and think of a way to get revenge on Axel.

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Meanwhile, Demyx had finished doodling fake handwriting in Larxene's book. He tossed it to Axel, who disappeared through a darkness portal. There was a loud yell of pain, a collapse to the floor and Axel reappearing laughing. "He flailed like a pansy!"

"'Um, Axel?" Roxas started, a look of terror on his face.

"'Sup?" Axel asked.

"WHERE'S MY BOOK, YOU ASSHOLE!" Larxene yelled. Axel shrugged, thinking in the back of his head how that practicing lying and keeping a straight face all that time paid off. "I swear Axel, if I find out you knew where it was, you won't have to worry about getting kicked below the stomach anymore." She made a stabbing motion and Axel saw Demyx and Roxas' eyes open wider and look at each other before shuddering. Larxene growled before walking through another portal. When it closed Axel turned to the others.

"If she finds out, I say it was Demyx's fault."

"Agreed." Said Roxas, nodding rapidly.

'WHAT!" Demyx groaned. "Why do you always blame it on **me**?"

"Cause you're a scapegoat. Simple as that." Grinned Axel. He turned to walk out the door when he heard a scream of terror, then turned back with one of his biggest grins on his face. "Sweet. Let's go have a look shall we?"

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YAAAAAAY I'm finally done! Happy happy, joy joy. Leave me a review kaythanksbyefalls asleep


	3. I Need a Vacation

**Here's chapter 3. When i get morereviews per chapter, i'll start replying to them. This chapter kinda revolves around Zexion. I just had him on the brain a bit. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 3: I Need a Vacation…

Cursing as he went along, Zexion opened the door to Larxene's room to see Vexen screaming as he ran around screaming and Larxene chasing after him with her Kunai in her hand. Zexion couldn't help but smirk at the sight. Some of Larxene's kunai were stuck in walls meaning she had somehow missed her mark… could Vexen even RUN that fast? Zexion got his answer soon enough, as Vexen had tried to make a run for it when he saw the open door and crashed right into him. "You're excused…" he mumbled as he removed himself from Larxene's warpath."What the hell was that about?"

"Simply put my, emo friend, Larxene's pissed." Explained Demyx as he walked in. "What'd I miss?"

"Larxene is chasing down Vexen and I nearly got trampled in the process." Zexion mumbled as he dusted himself off.

"Don't ya just _love_ this place? It's like being on a carnival ride!" Axel laughed as he patted Zexion on the shoulder in somewhat sympathy and somewhat hoping to make him stumble. Zexion rolled his eyes and Demyx grinned and nodded rapidly. Leaning up against a wall, he thought for a minute then added "That's malfunctioned, set fire, and imploded, of course."

"You're the one who provoked Larxene aren't you?" Axel nodded with a grin. Zexion sighed. Even though he knew that it wasn't likely that Axel and the other two imbeciles would be able to annoy him to the brink of rage, he was far too intelligent to fall for their tricks, he knew he'd have to deal with the other, more easily angered, members of Organization XIII when they went into an annoyed rage. It was days like this that made Zexion think it just wasn't worth dragging himself out of bed. "Well whatever you do, keep me out of it. It's bad enough that Marluxia comes to me to rant his problems at me. I refuse to be the Organization's mental counselor. It's ridiculous!" With that Zexion disappeared into a portal leaving Axel and Demyx.

"Never saw him that bugged, have you." blinked Demyx. "I sorta feel… sorry for him. Listening to Mar drag on_ is_ annoying."

"Nope, not usually." Smirked Axel. "Let's go harass Xigbar."

"Sweet. Hurry up Roxas!" Demyx called back, just as Roxas went around the corner. He had a large bump on his head and there were traces of dirt from the floor on his back. Evidence of being mowed down by Vexen. Axel elbowed Demyx to look at Roxas, trying to stifle laughter.

"If I hadn't seen Vexen run that fast, I'd say it wouldn't have been _possible_. That is one fast old bastard…" he mumbled, rubbing the area which had apparently met the floor. Demyx and Axel burst out laughing and waited for Roxas to catch up before continuing down the hall.

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Zexion, back in his room, laid down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. A few minutes later he got a strange sense in his nose and sighed. "3…..2….. 1." as soon as he finished the door flew open and there stood Marluxia. "What now?"

"How'd you know I was coming?" Zexion pointed to his nose. "Oh, right. I forgot, you're a human-- or should I say nobody-- version of an emo sheepdog, hair included."

"Extreme anger is no reason to insult others, me, or my hair, Marluxia. I could easily call you gay because of your element and pink hair and the fact that you use peonia petals to attack people with,without even having to try. But I'm guessing that Demyx or Axel have already called youthat, am I right?" Marluxia grumbled. "I thought so. So are you going to use me as an anger management councilor or can I go back to staring at the ceiling and practicing my 'emo' act?' Zexion asked sarcastically.

"I'm going to rant and then kill Axel, That's what I'm going to do! I--"

Zexion sighed and muttered "-- need a vacation…"

"You're right! I do! I need to get away from Axel and those other ditzy idiots! I--"

_"--Wasn't talking about you, asshole…" _Zexion thought as Marluxia continued ranting. Marluxia's personality really confused him. He wasusually calm and cool and hard to irritate, but once you_ managed _to get him pissed off, it never ends.

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Meanwhile, at Xigbar's room, he was having a tough time resisting the sweet urge to shoot Demyx in the head. Axel was listening to his MP3 player that he hardly used and reading a ranfdom magazine he stole off of Xigbar's table. Roxas was listening to a CD player watching in amazementas Demyx further and further drove Xigbar ever so close to the brink of turning a gun on him. "Demyx, my patience is growing thin with you, you little brat."

Demyx stopped momentarily and turned to look at Axel, who, while still reading a magazine, waved him off to continue what he wanted. So, of course, he started again, sitting down in a chair and taking a deep breath. "This is the song that never _ennnds._ It just goes on and on my _frieeends_. Somebody _staaarted_ singing it, not knowing what it was. And here _Iii_ am singing it, and only just because, This is the song that never _ennnds_. It just goes on and on my f_rieeends_. Somebody _staaarted_ singing it, not knowing what it was. And here _Iii_ am singing it and only just because--"

"DIEEE!" Xigbar had finally lost it and started chasing after Demyx shooting off his guns. Roxas pressed the button on a stop watch. Axel looked over his best friend's shoulder to see what it read.

"1 minute, 36.82 seconds." Roxas announced.

"Tis a new record low is it not?"

"…" Roxas gave him a weird look. Axel laughed, half because Demyx had just gotten shot in the ass.

"What's with that look?"

"You're scary when you talk out of character, do you know that?"

"Naturally." Axel grinned.

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Back in Zexion's room, there seemed to be no end in sight of Marluxia's rant. Zexion got up and opened a cabinet. Inside were books, a mirror, a faded picture, more books, pens, paper and… a box of stress balls shaped like Bulky Vendors. "What're those for?" asked Marluxia, interrupting his rant.

Zexion tossed one of them at him, which hit Marluxia in the face before landing on his lap. "Squeeze the Heartless when you're angry and pretend its Axel. Now get the fuck out of my room before I lose it." Zexion opened the door and pushed Marluxia out. After slamming the door, he grabbed another one of the Bulky Vendor shaped stress relievers, a quite battered one, labeled "Marluxia" and stabbed it repeatedly with a pen. "I'm seriously considering that vacation…."

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**A/N: **And thus explains how Zexion can keep his cool around these people. got that idea from geting pissed off at my computer and stabbing this earth shaped stress ball.

The song that Demyx is singing, was something that this really annoying bitch named Rebeccain my school was singing in science one time. Her annoyance came in handy I guess. I still hate her though.


	4. Saix and the Evil Panda Plushie

Hahahaha! I still can't believe that people's main replies were "Demyx got shot in the butt!"

Demyx: IT WAS NOT FUNNY! EYEPATCH MAN HAS GOOD AIM! OW!

Xigbar: That's for calling me "Eyepatch Man" you little twerp.

Are either of you even going to say something?

Demyx: Not as long as he keeps shooting me!

Xigbar: Let's see you dance!

I do not own Xigbar, Demyx, or the rest of Organization XIII, all I own is my twisted sense of humor.

Oh yeah, reviews, i forgot...

**Earthpaw:** Thanks, I'll continue writing. Everyone said "Oh! Demyx got shot in the behind!" Thankfully for him, Eyepatch Man's (Xigbar: HEY!) bullets disappear or he'd have a cough unfortunate problem on his hands.

**PartyBoy 47:** I realized that Roxas was just standing there doing noting too, i'll try to get him to do more.

**roysriza:** I know, after I wrote it, I called up a friend and purposly got it stuck in her head, she still loathes me for it too!

**AngelFyre2195:** It can't be any worse that having "The Campfire Song" stuck in your head. Damn you, YouTube!

**Memoria Muse:**Hey, Demyxcould have said no if he wanted to, and singing is his gig, so he's not about to let anyone steal his annoying singingroutineAnd yes, FEAR theHeartless Stress Ball! He should probably give those out to all of the members, though Demyx would probably attach it a an elastic string and pelt the other members with it.

**Master of Murder: **Thanks a bunch!Yeah, like the way you felt when you couldn't find the piece of red paper in silent hill like you do every time we get together! I'll have to get some of those squeeze balls. I think dad got me a couple of one shaped like the earth. Shoot the earth when you're pissed, don't waste the bullets on the videogame ghosts.

And thanks to freakyanimegal456, OoSapphireoO, and all therest for reviewing!

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Chapter 4: Saïx and the Evil Panda Plushie

Eventually, Xigbar managed to shoot Axel and Demyx enough to get them out of his room. Roxas left without any argument ad sped down the hallway after Axel and Demyx. Though before he even caught up he stopped short and turned his head to the right. The kitchen. Well he was a bit hungry and it wasn't like they could stay out of trouble with or without him around. To the kitchen it was. Leaving Axel and Demyx to reek havoc and run wild.

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"So what now?" Sighed Axel. Demyx groaned and rubbed his backside, which had been the victim of who knows how many direct hits. Axel ignored that. "There's like no one else to bother right now."

"Well we could always harass Mar again. I feel like flooding his garden."

"Yeah, you go do that, I'm gonna raid Roxas' room. He's hiding something whenever I'm around."

"Geez , not even your boyfriend's safe." Demyx laughed. Axel stopped short. "W-what?"

Axel turned around and grabbed Demyx by the front of his cloak. "What did you just say!" he growled. A wall of flames shot up and danced around him. Demyx squeaked. "Just because I like to hang around with Roxas all day doesn't mean I'm _gay_ for him! I am not a damn _pedophile_! What about you and Zexion? You seem rather _attached _to him!"

"H-hey! That's not true! I just hate how Zexy drags around a cloud of angst wherever he goes so I try and cheer him up, that's all!" Demyx retaliated.

"Well you're the one who came up with his nick--" Axel was interrupted by a loud roar, a crash, and a door opening, indicating that Saïx was getting incredibly annoyed.

Deciding that their argument could be put on hold, they ran down the hallway. Axel turned his head towards Demyx as they ran. "Later, if you even**mention** this conversation, I swear by all the fire in hell, I can, andwill kill you."

"Look, Axel, I was joking! Lighten up, will you!" Demyx turned his head and noticed that Axel was already gone. "Oh well," he shrugged, slowing down to a walk. "Least I have more time to think out a 'carefully worded apology'… yeah. _Real_ carefully."

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Roxas walked out of the kitchen with a soda and a bag of chips in his hand. Above him, he heard Xemnas yelling. It surprised him that he was yelling about how Larxene chasing after Vexen was a waste of time now because it had been well over and hour and a half since they had played that double prank. He opened the top of the soda to take a sip of it and walked around the corner, but no sooner than he had brought the can to his lips did he walk right into someone, spilling the drink all over his face, cloak, and the floor.

"Dammit! Hey--!" Roxas looked up to see that he had walked right into Saïx, who was apparently pissed off at being soaked in a caffeinated soft drink.

Saïx growled and got his psychotic look. Not the "I'm-gonna-kill-you-where-you stand" look, but a couple steps up at the "I'm-gonna-beat-the-crap-out-of-you-and-chop-you-up-into-little-bits-and-then-into-even-smaller-bits" look. Roxas turned pale, dropped the can and quickly enveloped himself in darkness, teleporting himself to some random place in the castle.

I think I'll stay here for a while… wherever here **_is_**." Roxas then looked around. A strange blue and red mixture was flowing by. A very different sight from the usually blinding white walls that they had to deal with every day. It only then hit Roxas that he must be in the lower area of the castle where Vexen's Lab used to be, that is before he had chucked a beaker at Demyx for telling him that everyone was getting fed up with waiting for him at a meeting some times ago.

The truth is, Xemnas was the one who had sent him down to get Vexen anyways, just to give Demyx something to do so that he'd stop complaining. Though a couple of weeks later they had to move Vexen's room to another location in the enormous castle because of this. Then eventually it made its way up the walls in a partially liquid, partially gas form. Why Xemnas didn't feel the need to take action about this he had no idea, especially since it got into the atmosphere around where Kingdom Hearts was, because Xemnas just _needed_ that breath of fresh air while hiking up to the Alter of Naught to keep Kingdom Hearts 'company' as Axel put it. Said Pyro wielding redhead often said that he wouldn't be surprised if Xemnas _talked _it, like how people confess their secrets to a stuffed animal or something.

Roxas suddenly got an image of Xemnas saying "You know, Kingdom Hearts, sometimes I think you're the only one who cares, you're my beeeeeest friend!", and laughed uncontrollably, and didn't stop laughing until he saw some strange mutant creature crawl out of the shadows. 'Holy crap! I though Axel was _kidding_ when he said Vexen experimented on puppies down here!" He quickly escaped through another portal and decided he'd best just go in his room.

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Axel looked around Roxas' room, which was a complete mess. "How does he walk around this place? Even my room isn't as messy as this." His eyes wandered to a black fuzzy arm underneath Roxas' bed and pulled it out. It was a stuffed panda that you'd win at a carnival or something. Axel would have laughed but heard the door open slowly. He jumped to the doorway, shoved the panda plushie in Roxas' face and yelled "EVIL PANDA!" at the same time.

"Holy Crap!" Roxas yelled, falling over onto the ground, looking up he saw Axel laughing "Axel! What the hell was that about!"

Axel could hardly stop laughing, Roxas had that round, wide eyed look that a cat gets when you drop something and scare it. "Hey Roxas, what's with the stuffed panda?"

"HEY! Give him back!" Roxas got up and jumped for the panda, which was just out of reach.

"Chill out man, it's not like I'm gonna burn it! I only do that with Demyx's stuff. And that's only when he reaches my extremely low Demyx tolerance point."

'I don't care; I want it back, now!"

The smile on Axel's face faded when he looked down the hall and he dragged Roxas into the room. "What's--" Axel put his hand over Roxas mouth to shut him up and mouthed the word 'Saïx' before picking up the panda again and waiting by the door. He peeked out and immediately got a strong smell of alcohol. Saïx had apparently dipped into the whiskey again, and felt the need to hurt something. Axel moved his head back in the room and listened for the door to open. As soon as it opened far enough and pushed the panda in Saïx's face.

'EVIL PANDA!"

Much to both of their surprise, there was not a roar, not a claymore slashing the plushie to bits, but a scream as Saïx yelled, **"The nightmares are alive! It's gonna eat me!"** before running into a portal.

Axel and Roxas looked out the doorway to see no sign of Saïx, and then looked at each other in disbelief. The _serious, psychotic berserker_ had just _screamed_ like a **girl** and _ran away_. Peals of uncontrollable, hysterical laughter echoed through the halls of the castle as both Axel and Roxas fell to the ground laughing.

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Saïx is OOC when under the influence of alcohol, with serious reputation related consequences. 

Go Axel. He scared Saïx, who damn well deserved it.

I finished this damn thing for you guess. now click the damn button and type for a minute.


	5. Doors Hate Demyx

Hey! Look who decided to update! That's right; I woke up at 3:00 this morning and got hit with inspiration when I had trouble getting my door open (Stupid half broken lock). Yeah, Demyx faces off against evil doors in this chapter. He cannot get a break today. Ah well, his time will come soon enough. And apparently, everyone loved the evil panda idea. I decided to give Demyx a chapter of his own since no one else there loves him and we haven't seen what he decided to do once he got to Marluxia's room. Let's say… he's stuck. And for the hell of it, let's throw Zexion in there too, just to say we love him and because I feel like having him throw Demyx out of his room.(Zexion: Lame…) Shut up.

(Disclaimerifiic!) I own this _fan fiction_, **not** the _characters. End of story._

Oh, yeah… reviews… damn, I keep forgetting these!

**King Vince: **I hate him too, and the fact that he looks like Regal with gel in his hair (Tales of Symphonia. Dun ask.). And I wanted to make fun of him. If I could express maniacal laughter without having to use the asterisk ("The little star thing"), I would. I usually don't flip out on people if they suggest something or point something out. It helps. I can't be a never ending supply of humor and someone who notices the lack of what someone's doing at the same time, so by all means, tell me of my flaws.

**Memoria Muse: **Thanks, I try my best. You have no idea how much trouble he'll be in eventually!

**Shiguna: **No, you got it right, it's "carnivorous". Ha ha.

**Roysriza: **Squirrels, Pandas, and Gaara in a panda_ costume_, oh my. I don't think Gaara's amused…

Gaara: glare….

Nope! Definitely not amused!

And thanks to everyone else who reviewed! Now onto the show!

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Demyx had one hell of a headache.

He stood at the door to Marluxia's room. Trying to turn the door's knob, which wouldn't. Giving him even more of a headache as he wondered why it wouldn't turn.

Once.

_Click click._

Twice.

_Click click._

Thrice.

_Click click._

Nothing.

"Fuck."

It wasn't that the door was locked or anything, but on his way to run into Marluxia's room, he instead ran into the door. Thus the reason why he had the headache. He most likely jammed the doorknob when he grabbed it to keep him from falling.

And little known to him, Marluxia was standing right behind him leaning against the wall, watching him try to open his door. _More entertaining than television. _He watched as Demyx continued attempting to wrench the doorknob open. All the while wondering why he wasn't pissed off at Demyx for breaking his door. _Probably because I got my laugh of the day. _Marluxia was brought back from his thoughts by Demyx backing up a bit and performing a charging kick on the door, which flew open and sent him falling on his face.

"…Ow."

A grin covered Marluxia's face. "If only I had had a camera." Demyx jumped up as soon as he realized that Marluxia was behind him and completely capable of taking off his head.

"Oh crap, it's Mar! I'm sorry!" Demyx blurted out like he had eaten a bag of sugar and a case of energy drinks as Marluxia casually walked in.

"Demyx--"

"Ididn'tmeantobreakyourdoor!"

"Demyx calm the hell down!" Marluxia attempted to calm the musician down so that he could understand what he was saying.

"Ijustranintothedooranditjammed! Honest! Iwasjustgoingtofloodyourgarden!"

"Demyx, I'm not going to-- wait. WHAT?" What Demyx had said had just clicked in the back of Marluxia's head. He gave Demyx a look before grinning.

Demyx squeaked.

"You're lucky your element is water or you'd be missing some limbs right about now."

"W-why?" Demyx watched as Marluxia picked up a trowel, and tossed it to him, before picking up a pair of garden shears.

"Instant Watering can. Move." Marluxia pointed to his nearly barren garden.

Demyx would have groaned, but he still had that feeling a scythe was loitering around his neck.

Oh and Demyx--"

Demyx turned around. "Yes?"

"If you flood my garden while you're working, I'll chase you down with scythe in hand, drag you back, and make you start over. Got it?"

Demyx groaned and started to pick away at the charred remains of Marluxia's weird plants, now wondering if he could outrun said owner of the dead plants.

Worth a shot isn't it?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Zexion had just lain down to take a well deserved nap when he heard that oh so familiar sound of Demyx screaming down the hallway. Getting up, he walked to the door to lock it. Though as soon as he got there, the door swung open and Demyx flew through the air on top of him, hitting to door with his foot and making it close. A muffled "Demyx, get off." was heard before Zexion pushed the musician off of him. "What'd you do this time?"

"Zexy, you gotta help me!" Demyx yelled, shaking Zexion back and forth by the shoulders. "I broke Marluxia's door and flooded his garden when he was making me help him rebuild it and now he's after me and I can't find Axel or Roxas and they wouldn't help me if their life depended on it anyways so I decided to run to your room cause I thought that maybe at least you would help!" Demyx then stopped and fell on his back gasping for air.

"And that's a sign that you should take a breath instead of trying to explain something in a full sentence. Now get up and leave." Zexion walked over and opened the door.

'What! Mar'll kill me!"

"Not my problem, now out!"

"But--!"

"Out!" Zexion shoved Demyx out the door and slammed it shut. There was a sound of someone's face hitting the door and curses about doors being in liege with the gods that hate Demyx as well as a multitude of random fits of curses. Then Zexion heard faint squeaky footsteps approach and stop a few feet from where he imagined Demyx was. He obviously took no notice.

"Come on Zexy! It's not like you have anything else to do! Open the door! It's the least you could do for just slamming your door on my nose!" Demyx whined.

Zexion took the opportunity to warp right next to Marluxia, who was waiting for Demyx to notice. He turned his head to see who it was and smirked, a suppressed snicker escaping his throat. Demyx finally realized. That Marluxia was standing behind him. "Oh, come on, Zexion. You had to get Marluxia?"

"I've been standing here for a good five minutes. He's just watching."

Zexion mouthed the word "Run". _Can't wait to see if Marluxia'll be able to catch him._

"Don't need to tell me twice." Demyx took off down the hall, yelling about how he gets bossed around like he's the lowest number in the Organization.

"Get back here!"

Zexion suppressed a small laugh and shook his head. "Malfunctioned, inflamed and implosion bound indeed…"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Demyx eventually outran Marluxia by running by a thirsty house plant and thanked whatever god that actually didn't hate him made Marluxia a plant lover. Then he went around the corner and ran into Saïx. Okay… maybe no one loved him after all.

"Demyx! Are you running from the evil pandas too? They're trying to take over the Organization!"

Demyx just stared at him in more disbelief then ever before. Saïx definitely needed a visit to the happy Hotel. "Man, you're stoned! I'm outta here! Axel! Roxas! Guys he's really creeping me out!"

"Just because I had a few bottles of whiskey does not mean I enjoy being call a rock! I am not a rock!"

Demyx decided not to get into an argument and promptly teleported to Roxas' room, where Axel and Roxas were still on the floor laughing their asses off.

"Have you noticed that Saïx is drunk and believes pandas are trying to take over Organization XIII?" Demyx asked.

Axel and Roxas took one look at him and burst into another fit of laughter.

"I… can't… breathe!"

"Me… either!"

"Stop having a giggle fit and answer my question!" Whined Demyx. Then it sorta hit him like a brick to the head. "You guys started this didn't you?" Axel nodded, still laughing. "You do know that once that alcohol induced randomness stops, we're gonna _die, _right?"

Axel and Roxas stopped laughing and looked at each other. "Oh, crap…"

* * *

Aaaaaaaand. DONE! I was getting writers block towards the end. Next chapter will be funnier though. These things just keep getting longer and longer don't they? Poor Demyx, the door hit him in the snoz and the head. They are evil. And will poor Zexion ever get a friggin minute of peace and quiet? I hope so 'cause that small line of patience is wearing thin. 


	6. The Muffin Dude

_**Reviews:**_

**Memoria Muse**: Yeah. You gotta love the state of being oblivious.

**AyanamiEraclea:** Arr, bitches XD

**Shiguna:** Yeah, that's sorta the reason why there's this big hole in dad's bathroom door.

**Axel's Stalker:** Your name scares me. Axel, you need to watch your back a bit more, the creepy stalking people are coming for you again.

Axel: OO Damn, Where'd I put that stick?

What… stick?...

Axel: The one I use to keep the stalking people that try to catch me in the shower at bay.

Axel! I did _not_ need to know that!

**AvlisTheChosen:** Why, thanks! Read this chapter then, it's incredibly ridiculous.

And now for our features random crap. Turn off your cellphones and go nuts...

* * *

"We'll have to steer clear of Saïx for a while…" said Demyx, stating the obvious. As if everything just wiped from his mind, he got that dumb look and grinned. "You guy's hungry? I am!" Axel and Roxas groaned as he dragged them down the hall towards the kitchen, most likely just using them so he wouldn't have to clean up after himself. 

As they entered the Kitchen, they smelled an obvious smell of pastries. Roxas couldn't place it but Axel and Demyx sure could.

"**MUFFINS!**" They cheered in unison. Roxas noticed Xaldin with an apron and a set of oven mitts on. He whirled around and spread his arms out.

"No! Not this time, Xemnas still hasn't gotten over the last time you two ate all the muffins before he could even have one!"

As if on cue. Xigbar wandered in. "Making muffins again, dude?"

"Yep! He's being the muffin man!"

"Demyx, the Muffin Man doesn't make the muffins, he just _sells _them..." Axel corrected. Roxas gave him a look like 'and you would know?'

Demyx pouted. "Then _who_ makes them, Mr. Pyro-know-it-all."

Axel smacked him upside the head before replying. "The **Muffin Midgets**, you dumbass."

Roxas, Xigbar, and Xaldin all did a double twitch.

_Twitch. Twitch._

"Axel?"

"Yes, Roxas?"

"Are you _on something_?"

"That hurt."

"I'm serious! What the fuck are you on? _Muffin Midgets_? Are you stupid, insane, on crack, or all of the above?"

Axel ignored the question. "Yeah. They're the minions of the Muffin God."

Everyone did another double twitch.

_Twitch. Twitch._

Xigbar broke the silence. "Well. He ain't a midget-" Xaldin scoffed and rolled his eyes. "-and no matter how much he wants to be, he ain't a god either."

"Then what is he?"

"A white guy with dreadlocks that he keeps in a ponytail that makes muffins and has this weird accent that sounds like those ducks from that episode of that show with the pink wussy dog that has a hole that goes straight through his tooth were they were trying to get their brother back so they put this weird hat on the old fat woman and the old bald guy while they were sleeping and--" Demyx only got that far before he fell backwards, light-headed from not stopping to take a breath. Roxas shook his head. Axel scoffed.

"Idiot…"

"…What were we talking about again?" Asked Roxas.

"I forget. My train of thought sorta derailed and hit a tree when Demyx started off on a one sentence rant. It's only understandable because he can hold his breath for a long time… sorta explains why he can scream so loud too." Axel reached for a fresh muffin only to have Xaldin jab his arm with a fork.

"Do you want to lose your hand?"

Xaldin was serious. He was the one who usually cooked in The Castle That Never Was. Sometimes he'd use his lances to cook multiple things at a time. Many wondered how he still had all his fingers. Axel decided not to answer the question and instead remembered what they were talking about.

"Oh, yeah. The Muffin issue."

Xigbar had obviously gotten tired of the conversation and had begun poking Demyx with the barrel of his gun. "Dude knocked himself out cold." He continued this a few more times before getting up, getting a beer from the fridge, and walking to the door. "So long little muffin eating dudes, dude that needs to learn why people invented commas, and Muffin Making Dude." He waved before walking back to his room.

As soon as a door was heard opening and closing, Axel, who had sat down in a chair, tipped his head back and laughed hysterically. "The Muffin dude! PERFECT!"

"I don't find it funny."

'That's because it's making fun of you." said Roxas. He looked down to see Demyx giggling on the ground. Xaldin looked ready to wring both Axel's and Demyx's necks, paying no attention to his muffins. Roxas took the opportunity to steal three of the said snacks, Xaldin took no notice. "Guys, let's go already."

"But what about the Muffins?" whined Demyx. Roxas used his eyes to motion towards the muffins he was hiding and Demyx grinned. "Okay, I'll leave."

"Yeah, this is kinda getting boring anyways."

"Demyx Immediately jumped up and dragged Roxas and Axel out the door (again), making sure Xaldin wouldn't hear him before turning to Roxas."Gimme."

"What?"

"You know what, give me the damn muffin!" Roxas held it out and was almost tackled by the other blonde

Axel turned to Roxas. "You managed to steal some muffins? Sweet! Give me one!" Roxas quickly tossed it to him so as not to be tackled again. As they sat there chewing on chocolate muffins, they heard a voice yell "YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!" and a lance went flying past.

"Crap."

"They're off!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As soon as they were out of Xaldin's stabbing range, Demyx found it appropriate to break out into his new favorite annoying song. "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! There they are standing in a row! Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head. Give 'em a twist a flick of the wrist, that's what the showman said. Oh I've gotta lovely bunch er coconuts. There they are er standing in a row-- ACK!" Demyx's face was promptly introduced to a coconut that Axel kept on his person at all times whenever that started.

'Where'd you get them anyways?" Asked Roxas, tossing one up and down in the air.

"I got them the last time I took a little trip to the Destiny Islands. They taste pretty good if you can get them open." He took the coconut from Roxas and tossed it over his shoulder, successfully scoring a direct hit on Demyx's head, who was about to break out into song again. "Roxas, you seriously shouldn't have let him watch that movie.

Hey, cool! His thick head cracked it open!" Axel picked up the two halves of the coconut and clapped them together before laughing. "Just like in the Holy Grail, huh?"

Roxas laughed. "A five ounce bird cannot carry, a one pound coconut!"

"I chink I got a toncussion…" groaned Demyx, still on the ground. Axellaughed.

"Wow. I never realized Demyx could use spoonerisms." Laughed Roxas.

"Spoonerjiggers?"

"Idiot…" mumbled Axel smacking his head. "Come on. Let's go find something else to do." Roxas sighed, and dragged Demyx along after Axel

* * *

(sigh) They can't seem to stay out of trouble can they? Roxas looks like the one who could steal things and not get noticed. And for all who wanted to know how I came across that very weird Muffin dude thing, it sorta started as me talking on the phone with Master of Murder, pushing some little toy cars off of my desk and saying "So long, little racer dudes." And soon after eating a muffin it sorta popped into my head. Nothing special. 

And the Show Demyx was talking about was Courage the Cowardly Dog. The one with the duck brothers that lay eggs.

Now, review, please. It'll make me happy, and let me know people actually bother to read all of the random crap I write.


	7. Same Emo, Half Size

I'm too lazy to reply to reviews anymore, shut up.

* * *

Chapter 7: Same Emo, Half Size

After ten minutes of dragging Demyx around, Roxas decided to wait until he was able to walk normally again, giving him the opportunity to finish his muffin. When Demyx was able to walk and talk normally, however, he had to bend down and hold his head for some minor relief from his now excruciatingly painful headache. "Oh man… My head feels like it's gonna explode…"

Axel took the opportunity to make fun of the blond. "Ha. That's surprising! Seeing how hollow your head is, it'd expect it to implode or at least dent a bit."

"Shut up…" Demyx whined, clutching his head.

Roxas paid absolutely no attention to the two and continued eating his muffin. He glanced up to see whose door he was leaning against.

IV.

4.

Vexen.

If Demyx noticed, which Roxas knew would happen, Vexen's lab would be plundered of 2 or 3 potions, Demyx would want to test them out, and someone was going to have a very hard day. He pitied them in advance.

_Wait for it…_

'Say…"

_20 munny to me…_

'Where're right in front of Vexen's room! Let's steal some of his potions and see what they do!"

_Make that 200 munny…_

Roxas sidestepped to the right to let Demyx amuse himself. He expected Demyx to ransack Vexen's Room, but he didn't expect Demyx to slip at the last second and collide with the door. What's more, he didn't expect Demyx to writhe on the ground and hiss out all curses he knew as well as "that bastard who invented doors must be burning in the darkest pits of 'oblivional' hell" especially that last part. Axel sighed and dragged Demyx back on his feet.

"Hurry up."

Demyx wiped a tear from one eye and opened the door. "Wonder if Vexen keeps icepacks in his fridge…"

"I think I should go with him. He's been acting klutzy lately."

"Good idea. But I'll go too, cause I think I smell alcohol coming this way."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Zexion set the book he had been reading for the past half hour down on the end table and got up off his bed. Bending backwards, he cracked his back before standing straight again to look at the time. 1:42. And he already was out of things to do. He would have still been occupied with a su doku book, but it met its unfortunate demise when he walked by Demyx while the blond was practicing manipulating water. He missed his book.

"Might as well see what Vexen is up to. The psycho probably is itching to show off his newest creation." Zexion decided, shutting off the light and walking down the hall to Vexen's Room.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Demyx had found a cabinet filled with air triggered potions and was searching through them while Roxas and Axel played a game of rock-paper-scissors and was now playing with a lavender colored vial of liquid labeled "Untested".

"Dammit!"

"Ha! I owned you again, Axel!" laughed Roxas.

"Shut up!"

"Maybe you'd win more if you didn't play the choices in the same order of Rock, then paper and then scissors, repeated endlessly."

"Repeat THIS!" Axel went to tackle Roxas when he heard the door opened, which was followed by a yelp and glass breaking. next Thing the two knew, A lavender smoke obscured their sight momentarily before they heard a shriek. One that didn't sound like Demyx.

"Demyx?"

"What did you **do**! Everything's twice as high as it used to be! Even my** cloak** is twice its normal size!"

"Is that a child's voice?" pondered Roxas. When the smoke finally cleared, there was a small, pale blue haired child yelling at Demyx, who looked ready to either burst in hysterical laughter or squeeze the living daylights out of the small screaming child. Though the child looked familiar, he couldn't place it. Looking next to him, Axel was trying to suppress laughter so hard that he was twitching noticeably.

"Axel?"

Axel burst into laughter. Laughter so hard it was past hysterical. "Oh, my… freaking God!" More laughter was heard before he could continue. "Demyx… He--he… turned Zexy into a Kid!" Axel laughed even harder. "A freaking KID! Demyx, he must totally hate you right now!"

"Sh-shut up!" Demyx yelled. He turned back to Zexion, who looked about ready to cry right now. "Zexy?" No answer." Aww, I'm sorry!" Demyx hugged the miniaturized Zexion, who immediately began squirming attempting to get out of Demyx's grasp.

"Lemme go! Lemme go, dammit!"

Axel burst into even more laughter and was hit in the head with a notebook.

"Zexion, don't do that!" Scolded Demyx, hugging Zexion tighter. Zexion squirmed even more and began to pound his fists into Demyx's arms.

"I swear if you don't let me go I'll-- I'll!" Zexion desperately attempted to wrench himself from the blonds grasp once more and sighed letting his body go limp.

"Calmed down, now?" asked Demyx.

"Yes…" Zexion grumbled. Demyx set Zexion down, and patted him on the head.

"Good." Grinned Demyx, sitting beside said child, and watched Axel giggle on the ground like a madman.

Roxas sighed. "There's never a dull moment here… Why the hell do I live with you nutcases?"

"I ask myself the same question every day…" sighed Zexion. The child got up and stood on his toes to just reach the doorknob.

'Where you going, Zexy?" asked Demyx, getting up to help said Zexy open the door.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Zexion shot back mockingly. Childness taking over a bit.

"Yes I would. Now where are you going?" Demyx crossed his arms.

"None of your business! I'm not a child!" Zexion yelled, waving his arms in the air.

"You are now. And you're not going anywhere without me!" Demyx scolded like a mother telling their child to stop wandering off. Roxas snorted at the scene.

"Oh look, Axel's about to burn your sitar, let's watch." Zexion claimed, pointing to Axel, who had a look of 'whut?' on his face. Demyx spun around to yell at Axel, but noticed that said spiky haired redhead had nothing in his hands.

"What do you mean Zexion? Axel doesn't have my-- Zexy?" Demyx looked around but the small child was nowhere in sight. "The little bastard pulled a fast one on me!"

"Think you'd learn that I can't summon **your**_ weapon_ by now, eh?"

Then it hit all of them. Zexion had resorted to a child's tactic instead of giving the usual death glare and not-so-empty-threats. Zexion? Childish? "Damn, I didn't even know he **was** a child at one point." Scoffed Demyx. The look on his face instantly changed to a goofy grin. "The chase is on! I'm gonna get you Zexy!" Demyx ran out the door to chase after Zexion, who had been attempting to open the door to his room and immediately squeaked in fear and took off down the hallway away from the blond.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Roxas and Axel sat there both with an eye visibly twitching. "What the hell have we gotten ourselves into?" Asked Roxas.

"The most spontaneous, random, unbelievable bullshit I've ever seen." Replied Axel.

"…Wanna go harass Mansex?"

"Sure. He's one of the only ones we haven't annoyed today."

* * *

Oh god. Zexion's a kid. And childish. What has Demyx done this time? Poor Zexion's gonna have a nervous breakdown when he sees how cute and chibish he is… why do I suddenly get that feeling that the Zexion fangirls are going to kill me Oo… ZEXY, THEY'RE COMING FOR MEEEEE:Cowers behind Zexion:

Axel and Roxas are going to be in a spot of trouble in the next chapter. But it'll take more that a bit of trouble to keep these troublemakers at bay.

Oh, and by the way, knowing how a lot of people take any little bit of contact between same sex characters as fluff, yaoi, or implying a pairing, I didn't write this to support the ZexionDemyx pairing, nor for it to be against it. Quite frankly, if I saw Zexion as a little kid, I'd probably hug him too. Like how there are some kids that are so cute and precious you just want to squeeze them till you kill them? Yeah. So once again, get your minds out of the f-ing gutter. If this was supporting a pairing, it'd be in Humor/romance instead of just humor.

Oh, and also, please don't think I'm weird for thinking yaoi is kinda… yeah… Some of it's funny like WeaselChick's _Potion Torture _and _Pandemonium Ensues_, but most of it's really weird to me though. Maybe I'll try writing it… probably not.


	8. It's M A N S E X!

I seriously need a life. Here's another chapter, because I had somewhatinspiration tonight. Your welcome people. And because you _demanded_ it, Ryuuki Kisaki. :Laughs: Enjoy the chapter.

* * *

In this Chapter:

Xemnas and Saix go balistic

Zexion loses it

Larxene laughs at Zexion

And Demyx is acting protective of Zexy and creeping Axel and Roxas out.

* * *

Axel and Roxas crept down the hallway towards Xemnas' room. They heard a television blaring some random show until the commercials came on. The current one was the Oscar Mayer bologna commercial. "Stupid bologna… stupid singing… I can't see why the other idiots love to make annoying variations of that song…" was all they heard Xemnas mumble from the other side of the door. An evil grin twisted over Axel and Roxas' features.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" grinned Axel.

"After you." smirked Roxas.

Axel laughed inwardly, then took a breath and sang "Theeeeeee Superior has a first name--"

Roxas joined in 'It's XE-M-N-A-S!"

There was a grumble and a curse heard from in the room.

"The superior has a second name--"

"It's MA-N-S-E-X!" Roxas sang loudly, before laughing a bit.

There was a crash and someone yelling "What!"

Axel continued. "He lives up to them every day--"

"And if you ask us why we'll saaaaaaaaay--"

"Cause Our Superior, has a way, with screwing _Saïx, _everyday!" The two of then sang in unison. There was the sound of a chair falling over in another room and the two of them started laughing. Roxas leaned against the wall to stop himself from falling over and noticed an enraged claymore wielding psycho and an even more pissed off Xemnas, both armed and ready to kick the crap out of the two of them.

"A-axel?"

"Don't tell me. Saïx and Xemnas are armed and ready to kill?"

"Petty much, yeah, you hit the nail on the head."

"Fuck. Run."

The two of them took off down the hallway having very close encounters with multiple claymore and countless groups of small laser based missiles. 'So worth it!' was the last thing Saïx and Xemnas heard them yell in unison before the troublemakers disappeared through a portal.

"Why do I insist on not letting you kill them?" Xemnas asked Saïx.

"They're fun to scare half to death."

'We can't die, we're not alive or dead." Xemnas started really close to his rant about hearts, feelings, and nothingness. No one could stand it, especially the three stooges, even Saïx couldn't stand it.

"Don't start, _please_, you'll never stop."

"Silence, VII."

Saïx made a portal. "Sure. Have fun giving your beliefs to a wall. Even though I really hate to say it, Axel is _right_ when it comes to you and Kingdom Hearts." Saïx gave a wave and was gone.

Xemnas just stood there with as much of a frown as he could on his face. "I do _not_ rant and obsess over Kingdom Hearts!" He mumbled. A few more moments passed. "I'll go see how my Kingdom Hearts is coming along." And Xemnas stepped through a portal to the Proof of Existence.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Zexion had gotten away.

He escaped Demyx.

Well, at least for the moment.

"I gotta find a place to hide." Zexion ran to the nearest room and pounded on the door. "Whoever's in here is taking too fucking long to open their freaking door!" he yelled. When the door finally opened he wished he hadn't chosen this room to hide in.

"Oh my _God,_ if you're really standing there as a child, Zexion." A voice said cracking from suppressing laughter

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Demyx couldn't believe he had lost Zexion. As an adult Zexion could never run that fast. Though being a child, he was obviously a little bit energetic, if that's possible for him. And where could Zexion go anyways? The kid could barely reach the doorknobs anymore and Xemnas had this thing with keeping all doors shut at all times.

He turned around to look for Zexion when he heard hysterical cackling laughter and a small voice yelling about something not being funny. He promptly turned on his heel and around the next corner to see Larxene laughing at Zexion, who was on the verge of crying again. "Larxene, leave Zexion alone. He can't control his emotions as a kid and he looks like he's gonna start crying." Demyx scooped up Zexion, who immediately looked at Larxene like 'help me you evil bitch!'

"Oh my God, I've got to get a picture of that! I knew you liked him Demyx!" Zexion and Demyx gave each other looks of 'WHAT!' as Larxene went to get her camera.

"I'm not waiting for her to get back." Demyx mumbled as he opened a portal and walked through it. "You seriously need to get back to your old self, Zexy. Seriously. Larxene? You ask _her_ for help? She's a sadist! She **loves** seeing others_ pain_!" Demyx put the small child on his bed. "Stay here, kay? I gotta go find Axel and Roxas." Zexion pouted, like all small children do. "Stop that, it's too cute. You doing something cute is too creepy."

"Ignoring that comment. Just because I may be child sized and act a little bit like you and those other two delinquents doesn't mean you can leave me here with nothing to do. Even I need entertainment."

Demyx groaned. "Fine. You can come too, just don't wander off."

"Again, I am not a child."

Demyx pointed to the large mirror on his closet door. "You look like one to me. This was the first time Zexion saw how he actually looked. He didn't take it well.

He screamed.

Loudly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Axel and Roxas looked up from their newest vandalism.

"Explain this to me again Axel?"

"This cloth is the same color as the sky, which is covering Kingdom Hearts. all that is showing of it is through the small heart shaped hole that i cut in it so it looks like how it did in the begining, when Xemnas had only collected a few hundred hearts.

"Axel he's going to get incredibly pissed off. especially because when he runs up to see what's going on, he'll get a bucket of neon green hair dye on him."

"That's what i'm going for and that's why we stole Larxene's camera. To videotape it all. Then we can copy it multiple times. BLLAAAAAACKMAAAAAIIIIL!"

"I need new friends."

"Hey, that hurts!"

Axel pushed Roxas into a portal that lead to the Proof of Existance, whichclosed just in time for another to open. back at the Proof, Axel and Roxas listened to the mayhem that was happening to their superior. There was a loud scream from a child. Wait, child? Zexion. Axel and Roxas ran to Demyx's room, where said blond was trying to calm down Zexion.

"I thinkI liked him better when he didn't scream."

"What'd you do?" Asked Roxas, staring at the shaking Zexion.

"All I did was how him a mirror." Demyx shrugged. "I didn't realize it'd freak him out this much."

"I'll kill you!" came a small voice. They all ignored it.

"So what should we do?"

"Have fun milking this thing for all it's worth!" laughed Axel poking Zexion. Demyx picked Zexion up and put some space between the two.

"Stop picking on a child, Axe, and grow up. Picking on the others is one thing, but leave Zexion alone." Axel and Roxas snimply stared at Demyx.

"Is it me or is Demyx becoming a bit overprotective of Zexion?" Axel whispered to Roxas as Demyx patted Zexion on the head and grinned.

"No kidding. I think he's acting like a responsible older brother. This can only lead to one thing. The end of the World That Never Was. It's like, written in stone that Demyx can't act responsible or the worlds would go into mass chaos."

"Maybe that's why we've been causing mayhem?"

* * *

Poor Zexion. I wonder if he'll ever get his normal self back. X3 I couldn't help the Oscar Mayer thing. It was playing while I typed that part.

And why the hell is Demyx getting overprotective of Zexion?

Today's moral: Even if she's the last person on earth, never ask Larxene for Help or sympathy, **EVER**!


	9. Doorknobs, Hair Dye, and Explosions

If any of you can believe me, I've been procrastinating this thing for nearly a year. XDD A YEAR. Oh man, you can kill me now if you wish.

I assure you, I'll update this a lot more now. XDD my apologies for being a lazy nit.

Onto the show anyways.

XDD You all must freaking HATE me by now.

* * *

Zexion eventually calmed down enough to get angry at Axel for laughing. Getting up, the pint sized tactician tripped over his own feet and slammed his head into Demyx's long door mirror, causing it to crack and shatter into many shards and pieces on the floor. Axel roared with laughter at the sight and Demyx's face wept the loss of his mirror, before his new found responsibility kicked in and he scooped Zexion off the floor and back onto his bed.

"I'll get a broom…" sighed Roxas as he opened the door to the room and trekked down the hall to the closet This left an opportunity for Zexion to do what all small children would do when they didn't want to stay still and take off. Which was promptly taken as the spot on the bed was vacated.

"What th--Zexion get back here!"

"Make me!"

So much for Zexion's claim of still having an adult's state of mind. Sighing, Axel and Demyx gave chase after the child.

Zexion soon lost the both of them as he rounded the corner and scrambled up the stairs. He'd never admit it, child or adult, but he was having fun making the two chase after him. Wandering a short distance down the hall, he soon heard snatches of conversation between two people. One talking louder and higher pitched, not to mentioning droning on more, than the other.

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"We just got outrun by a mini sized version of everyone's favorite emo tactician…"

"Gee, ya _think_?" Axel responded, rolling his eyes and peeking through the door of another unused, dusty room of the castle. "I can see where you're getting when you ask why the castle has to be so damn big. Most of these rooms don't even have a fruity furnishing or a random flowery decoration. Marluxia will have a field day when he catches wind of all this empty space." He shut the door and sneezed. "Musty."

"Maybe we took a wrong turn… he could have gone up that first flight of stairs." Demyx suggested, closing a door on the other side of the hallway.

"Maybe, but by now He's probably gotten all the way to Lexaeus's room. He usually hangs with him and Vexen when he's not brooding in his own room." Axel opened a portal and snapped his fingers into front of Demyx's face to get his attention. "Yo. Demyx. Hurry up."

"Wait for me!" Demyx closed the door and followed.

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Meanwhile, back in Demyx's room, Roxas sat on the floor sweeping the last of the glass into a dust pan, muttering something about the other two being lazy and running off just so they wouldn't have to clean up the mess. He sometimes wished that more people would become human-like nobodies that could actually talk; so that he wouldn't have to spend so much time with the band of misfits he called friends. Sighing, Roxas discarded the glass into Demyx's trash bin and propped the broom against the wall. "Demyx can vacuum the shards of glass out of his carpet himself. I'm not his maid."

Opening and closing the door behind him, Roxas set out in the direction he assumed the three had gone in, hoping they'd found something that would help Zexion return to normal size.

Halfway up a flight of stairs, Roxas noticed a small child in clothes at least five or six sizes too big for him. Obviously Zexion, he was trying to get a door open, being unfortunately just too short to get the knob to turn. Roxas made a mental note to lend the lavender haired boy the robe that they had miss-sized when he first came here. When he wore that one, it looked like he was wearing a skirt instead of a long overcoat. Then it hit Roxas that Zexion was alone, making the blond wonder if the other two had perhaps left him behind. "Hey Zexy, where's Axel and Demyx?"

Zexion jumped, bashing his head into the doorknob then falling to the ground writhing and clutching his forehead.

Roxas suppressed a little chuckle. "Easy, Zex. It's just me."

"I realize that _now_!" Zexion spat once he regained his unfazed stature. "And as for Axel and Demyx, I last saw them eating my dust." Zexion's face gained a mischievous smirk.

Roxas's eyebrow rose a bit. "Seriously? I assumed they left _you_ behind!"

"Why would you think THAT?"

"Isn't it difficult to run in those baggy clothes?"

"Of course it is! But it's a lot more difficult to run in those knee high boots. I had the sense to discard them. I've realized I'll probably spend a good amount of time in this form."

Roxas blinked. "So you're running around in bare feet?"

"Precisely. It was either that or run around in oversized socks. And if I had done that, I would be tripping and slipping and falling flat on my face from the lack of texture on the polished marble flooring. After all, since it's so smooth there's nothing the fabric could gra-- What's with that look?"

Roxas's mouth snapped shut. He must have been blankly staring at the child. "Oh, uh, sorry. I'm just surprised that a five--"

"Six." Corrected Zexion.

"Whatever. Six year old is talking like an adult would."

The boy folded his arms. "Just because I happen to be younger physically doesn't mean I've lost my mental age."

"Coulda fooled me." Grinned Roxas.

Zexion's lips contorted into a scowl-like pout. "Just shut up and help me open the door."

Roxas rolled his eyes and reached for the doorknob only to stop short as Zexion started kicking the door, obviously impatient. "Why not try knocking? It's polite and you don't break your foot."

"Tried it. No answer." Zexion turned back to the door and began kicking it again, talking in pieces every time he kicked it. "But. I. Know. One. Way. Or. Another. I'm. Gonna. Get. This. DOOR. OPEN! RAGH!"

Zexion went to kick a hole in the door when it finally opened, a certain blond scientist sticking his head out to yell at whoever was there. "WHAT?!'

Zexion stumbled a bit from not making contact with the door, but regained balance and waved up at him. "Hello, Vexen." Vexen's angry expression was immediately switched to a just a strong look of shock.

"Zexion?! Is that you?!" Behind an interrogating Vexen sat an incredibly irritated Lexaeus, whom Zexion noticed seemed to want to push Vexen out of his room and lock it. Zexion assumed himself right because a few seconds later Lexaeus smacked himself in the forehead as if he'd suddenly realized that all of the members of the organization could open dark gateways to wherever they pleased, and that Vexen would likely just storm back in and rant about how no one ever respected him.

As Vexen obsessed, ranted, and raved over how Zexion had somehow become a child, Roxas scooted away over to Lexaeus. "How long's he been here?"

"I lost track of time, but he's been ranting over how he shouldn't have to spend 5000 munny buying Larxene a new book and that she should just erase whatever someone had written in the book. Then some other indignant speech over how Larxene's 'framing him so she won't have to use her own munny'. I want to kill him right now…" Roxas could see his eye twitch as he tried to keep himself from strangling the older man.

"Uh… you'll probably have to hold off on that for a while… we kinda, sorta, really need Vexen to fix Zexion."

Lexaeus turned to see Zexion and did a double take before snapping his head back in Roxas's direction. "That child is Zexion??"

"Yeah, long story short, Demyx dropped a potion and Zexion turned into a kid. The bottle wasn't labeled so we don't know what it was." Roxas forgot to whisper that and mentally cursed himself when the room went silent.

"Demyx WHAT?!" Screeched Vexen. Roxas cringed and could swear he saw a vein popping out of the elder's reddening face.

"He dropped a potion when I opened the door and I got changed into a kid, so I've been running around for the last hour or so as a six year old in clothes that are twice my size. I had to tie the hood's drawstrings together in order to keep my cloak from falling off of me, so I was wondering if--"

"The nerve of that boy! I've already screamed at him once today not to go into my room! This is exactly what I'm talking about when I say that no one respects me! I--"

Seeing no possible short end to this rant, Zexion removed one of the paperback books from Lexaeus's bookshelves and chucked it at Vexen, the binding hitting him square in the side of the head. "OUCH!"

Zexion folded his arms, "And you wonder why I never say things sooner…"

Vexen rubbed his head, grumbling and sitting down in a chair. "…continue."

"Right then, as I was saying, I was wondering if you could get your ass back to your lab and fix this damn problem." Zexion said, trying not to show how annoyed he was getting.

"Language, Zexion. If you're this fouled mouthed at this age, imagine how much you'd swear when--" Vexen began off on one of his lectures again, seeming to instantly forget what Zexion had asked him. Zexion grabbed another book and chucked it at Vexen.

"The next one will be a hardcover!"

Vexen finally shut up. Not really wanting anymore of a migraine than he had now. Zexion had good aim. "Okay! Okay! Just stop throwing books!"

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"…"

"…"

"… and you said I had portal directing problems." Demyx said with a smirk.

Axel's portal had not gone to Lexaeus's room. Instead, it had gone to the Proof of Existence. One might expect the organization's personal rooms to all link to the proof of existence, but if someone were to wander into the castle, they would be able to go right into the Proofs. Anyways, Luxord, Marluxia, and Demyx had complained because 'their rooms had no ceiling' in the first place. A slight mistake when the castle was being built. You couldn't expect the lower class nobodies to be that intelligent, could you? Xemnas finally moved the rooms after what happened to Xigbar… the gunslinger hadn't even known what hit him that day.

What happened you ask? Well let's say that he hadn't gotten those scars before he became a nobody. He had been a damn scientist!

Demyx stepped in a puddle of what looked like green hair dye, which trailed to about the middle of the room and stopped short. "What's this? Someone dying their hair green?"

Axel's face slowly gained a wide smile and he covered his mouth with a hand, shoulders shaking from suppressed laughter. "Hehehehe…. Weeeeellllll, _sorta_."

Demyx looked at him funny. "Axel don't tell me you—"

"Dumped neon green hair dye on Xemnas? He sure freaking did!" Larxene interrupted, answering the question for Axel as she walked out of another portal. "I could barely stop laughing. He got most of it out, but his hair's tinted green."

Demyx took a small step away from her. "Uh… h-hey Larxene." It seemed like she still hadn't figured out Demyx wrote in the book. He may forge well, but he still couldn't completely cover his handwriting.

"What are you stuttering for, you loser? I'm just here to warn you that Saïx seems to have a screw loose. He's going around in a rage looking for the 'panda king', whatever the hell that means. Even his lackey nobodies are scared, and those things are dumber than dirt."

"Panda… king?" Demyx asked.

"Gotta love them pandas." Axel grinned, trying to change the subject by avoiding an explanation. "Soooo, let's go look for Zexy."

"I'll be going now. Not getting in the path of Saïx. If you need me, too bad." Larxene left through a portal, likely back to her own room to read or whatever it was sadistic women liked to do, the last thing they heard her say to herself was "And if Vexen doesn't shut the hell up, I swear…" before the dark gate closed behind her and the other two were left to their business.

"Well isn't that wonderful." Axel said sarcastically, running a hand through his hair as he checked through the closest proof for any sign of Zexion. "Why do I get the felling we're missing something?"

A small, almost inaudible boom was heard in the distance. They assumed it was Saïx and dismissed it.

After a few minutes Axel blinked, suddenly remembering something. "Where's Roxas?"

_BOOM._

"Okay, I know that wasn't Saïx. Shall we investigate?" Axel once again discarded the fact that Roxas was not here to the back of his mind in some little corner and opened another dark doorway. Demyx shrugged and followed.

-------------------------------------------------

Vexen coughed and waved away the cloud of smoke that had filled the room. "Anything?"

"I'm still short Vexen." Zexion announced with a cough. Vexen, after dragging Roxas and himself to his room, had been trying to make an antidote for the past half hour. He'd come to the conclusion that if the potion that affected him had done this airborne, then the antidote had to be airborne as well. Precaution or whatever. Zexion took a few steps back in an attempt to move away from the cloud when he tripped over something... furry.

"What the--"

At this moment, Axel and Demyx, having seen smoked sneaking under the crack of the door, opened the door and joined in the giant cloud of smoke. Axel coughed and waved the smoke out of his face as he neared Zexion. "There you are Zex-- what is THAT?"

* * *

... 3 I think I'll stop there. Leave you all with a nice juicy cliffhanger. 

>DDD It's not as it seeeeeeems. Just keep this in mind


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